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Most socially anxious people aren’t missing social skills. They’re fighting a loud inner critic that insists something about them is showing and it’s bad. Ellen Hendriksen speaks directly to that critic, and she does it with warmth.
What this book is about
Hendriksen, a clinical psychologist at a university anxiety center, turns cognitive behavioral tools for social anxiety into an encouraging, readable book. Her argument is that you already have what you need to handle social situations, once the inner critic stops running the show.
Who this book may help
It’s a good match if you:
- Feel sure you’re being judged, or that a flaw is on display
- Replay social moments afterward and cringe
- Want an accessible, story-driven book more than a workbook
- Are looking for a gentle on-ramp to change
Key tools in the book
You’ll learn to recognize and quiet the inner critic, drop the safety behaviors you use to hide, and step into social situations rather than avoid them. Hendriksen weaves in science and real stories so the tools feel human, not clinical.
Clinical strengths
The writing is warm and funny, which makes hard ideas easier to take in. It puts real CBT tools in reach for readers who’d never pick up a workbook. Many people find it the book that finally made them feel understood rather than judged.
Limitations
Because it’s more narrative than structured, readers who want worksheets and a strict program may want to pair it with one. It’s not a substitute for treatment. If social anxiety is severe, or you’re withdrawing from people you care about, please reach out for professional support.
My recommendation
I suggest this to people who want an encouraging start that doesn’t feel like homework. It pairs nicely with social anxiety therapy, where you can turn its ideas into steady practice. Read it, notice your own inner critic, and try one small social step it inspires.
View How to Be Yourself on Amazon
This review is for general education and isn’t a substitute for professional care. If you’re struggling, a licensed mental health professional can help you find the right next step.
Dr. Joseph S. Weiss is a psychologist in Seattle, WA. He works with people dealing with anxiety, OCD, panic, insomnia, and phobias, drawing on CBT, EMDR, and other approaches with strong research behind them. What keeps him in this work is watching people get their lives back, one small step at a time.
